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What to Ask HIS References

As a general guide, always give the other person plenty of time to answer a question before asking the next one. You’ll get more information this way!


A natural conversation will give you the best information - these questions are intended to be a general guide to help direct the conversation and to make sure you don’t miss anything important.


When speaking to references, the goal is to find out if the other person is healthy and shares the same general values as you.

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Opening Questions


  1. Do you know him personally?

  2. How did you get to know him?

  3. How long have you known him?


Personality & Middot (try to ask for examples)


  1. How would you describe his character & middot?

  2. Does he get along well with his friends, roommates, family, etc?

  3. Is he respectful to his parents, Rebbeim, and/or teachers?

  4. Is there a particular teacher/mentor that he’s close to? If yes, who?

  5. Would you say that he’s [kind, funny, etc]?


Learning & Praying


  1. Does he set aside time to learn regularly?

  2. Does he learn on his own or with a Charvuta or a Shiur?

  • If he learns with a Chavruta or a Shiur, ask for the name.

  1. Is his learning important to him?

  2. Does he pray daily? If yes, how many times a day?

  3. Does he pray with a minyan?


Health


  1. To the best of your knowledge, is he a physically, emotionally, and mentally healthy person?

  2. Has he had any physical, emotional, or mental health issues in the past?

  3. Does he smoke or drink regularly?

  4. Do you know of any health issues in his immediate family?


Parnassa


  1. What does he currently do for Parnassa?

  • Is this his long-term plan or is he working toward something else?

  1. Is he a responsible and reliable person?


Family


  1. Do you know his family personally?

  2. Is the home a stable, healthy home?

  3. Are his siblings generally healthy & stable?

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